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February 8, 2007
The Rub Down
I feel so relaxed and limber right now. I took an embarrassingly long lunch hour to get a massage, a belated anniversary gift. The last time I got a massage was when we were on vacation a few years ago in the Napa Valley, home of world famous mineral waters and mineral-rich mud. We had just emerged like swamp monsters from a "romantic" private mud bath and decided to spring for a couple's massage. As we lay eagerly waiting on separate massage tables, imagining that some sexy Swedish couple (maseuss stereotypes die hard) would soon spring out from behind the curtain, we couldn't figure out which one of us should get the masseur and which one of us the maseuss. In the end, it hardly mattered who got whom because both were equally hideous and ill-trained. I don't get how couple's massages are supposed to be romantic. We were only able to look at each other from a distance as these non-Swedish strangers' hands roughly groped and manhandled our bodies and, after an hour of this, it seemed messed up that we were the ones that had to pay for the service, and then tip. Anyhow, my neck has been killing me lately so it was high time for another massage. Last week, I accidentally ordered "extra firm" pillows from Overstock.com, normally a trustworthy site full of bargains (plus they ship anything for $2.95). These pillows were not merely "extra" firm though-- they were "fuck-your-neck-up" firm. After one night, my right arm was left feeling all weak and wonky and my shoulder blade area and neck were feeling really tight. I could hardly turn my head without a sharp pain extending from my neck down to my fingers. She really worked a number on me though, wow; it was like being shot with a tranquilizer dart. But I was so disoriented walking out of there, all oiled up and tenderized, I mistakenly got on the subway going the opposite direction from my office. When I realized I was heading further downtown, I contemplated just going home for the day but, alas, here I am back at the seal milk factory...
Tomorrow I'm going to be on television again.
Eating octopus balls.
Aren't you glad you clicked on the "continue reading"?
Posted by debbie at February 8, 2007 3:17 PM