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Posted by debbie at 11:05 PM | Comments (0)

September 10, 2009

Middle of The Night

Into this pitch darkness we're hurled
Where there's not a glimmer of light
It's not the end of the world
It's just middle of the night

And the blackest of flags is unfurled
In all this absence of light
It's not the end of the world, good people
Merely the middle of the night

The middle of the night
That's what this is
If death is the real test
This is just a quiz

When grey creeps through your window
It will be daylight
The end of this darkness
Is almost in sight

To a ball of fear you are curled
You're holding on with all of your might
It's not the end of the world, little sister
It's just the middle of the night

In the maelstrom of your mind you are swirled
Almost down the drain but not quite
It's not the end of the world, my brother
Rather the middle of the night

The middle of the night
When you fear everything
but the birds will awake soon
and you will hear them sing

You doubted you'd make it
not sure you'd survive
Now your dead tired
but you're still alive

Around fate's fickle finger we're twirled
Small wonder we're all so uptight
It's no the end of the world, good people
Merely the middle of the night

It's not the end of the world as we know it
it's just the middle of the night

--Middle of the Night, Louden Wainright III

Posting this is pretty emo of me, I know. I swear this blog won't turn into one consisting merely of song lyrics that touch me. It's just that I've been a total insomniac lately and I've been going a little nuts. Is it the full moon peeking through the blinds? Is it the crazy loud neighborhood fellow arranging drug deals beneath my window? Is it my crumb-scattered sheet I can't be bothered to  wash? Is it my quarter life crisis catching up to me a few years late?

I don't know what's going on other than that I've been a complete zombie the last few days....Too bad I'm not the kind of insomniac who, once coming to terms with ones self that sleep is not in sight, rationally decides to do something productive like reorganize ones closet, learn how to drive, or write an impassioned op-ed piece for the Times. No, no, nothing productive. I just lay there immobilized.

All. Night. Long. Struck by a steady paralyzing panic, worrying about every existential nuance of life and death and everything in between.  As well as the unyielding frustration that comes with the realization that, come morning,  I will inevitably be extremely exhausted and crabby.

When I stumbled across this song on Pandora today, I felt such a huge relief. Oh Pandora and your box!  It was as if Louden himself was reassuring me that I'm not going crazy, the world is not ending...it's just...sometimes (once a night, in fact)...it's the middle of the night......I hardly ever pay attention to song lyrics, let alone so literally or as poetry even, but here you go. If you ever have found yourself awake at 4am...

Posted by debbie at 11:22 PM | Comments (0)